And Watch Out for Pirates!

When we purchased the boat it was with a lease to purchase agreement with the previous owner. No lending institutions or lines of credit were used. We offered a hefty initial payment, followed by six months of not-quite-so-hefty payments, culminating in our owning the Kalliope outright as of March 2014. This arrangement bought us time to see if we truly were comfortable with living aboard an 85 foot ship or if this was one of those daydreams that would turn out to be a nightmare (there have been plenty of moments…) Turns out that we love, love, love living aboard a boat and find that this is perhaps the coziest home in which we have ever lived.

There are inconveniences, no doubt about it. Both flush toilets are accessible only through staterooms, meaning if someone is sleeping in the stateroom, middle of the night emergencies can be awkward. Or tiresome, necessitating a ¼ mile round trip trek to the marina’s bathroom. We do have the Incinolet that is in a bathroom connected to the TV room rather than a stateroom, but we have not yet used it ourselves (except for one time when we first arrived and discovered that it did not work). Nor do we recommend to anyone else that they use it even though we have since that time repaired this marine device that incinerates the waste through a two-step process at 1200 degrees F, after which the ashy pile can be tossed in the trash.

We have learned of an alternative to installing a flush toilet where the Incinolet currently resides (a flush toilet being virtually impossible without major welding work and replumbing). Nature’s Head composts the waste, using peat moss as a base. Friends who have been using a Nature’s Head for a month or so say it’s awesome, odor-free and really user-friendly. No outhouse looking metallic unit like the Incinolet, just a normal looking toilet.

Yikes! Can’t believe I just spent two paragraphs talking about plumbing again. I’ve always known that conversations about both toddlers and dogs dedicate a disproportionate amount of time and attention to basic bodily functions and bathroom habits and now I guess I can add conversations about boating to that list.

To get back to the point ~ the person from whom we bought the boat might be described as an old salt with a bushy white beard, an unrestricted 500 ton vessel captain’s license, with a touch of Jean LaFitte thrown in.  In other words, very, very tough to negotiate with, eager to hang onto the contents of his own wallet and equally as eager to separate everyone else from theirs. In early December, shortly after we arrived at our current home in Fort Myers, curious marina residents and visitors who knew the previous owner kept warily walking by and occasionally gearing up the courage to ask us if we were the new owners. When told that, yes, we did, indeed purchase this 85 foot retired river tug (or more accurately push tug, meaning it pushed barges up and down the Mississippi River) with the intention of living aboard, anecdotal tales began to pour out. Tales that sent “shiver me timbers” up and down our spines.

And so, in January, we decided it would be wise to work with an attorney to coordinate the paperwork exchange that would give us full title simultaneously with the final funds transfer. The plan seemed simple enough to us. The attorney would prepare the paperwork for final bill of sale, the Certificate of Documentation being signed over to us, and our application to obtain title. It’s a bit complicated by the fact that the Certificate of Documentation must be cleared and signed off on by Homeland Security, meaning there are a lot of bureaucratic red tape and possible snags, but, other than that, pretty simple. He signs, we sign, paperwork goes to attorney who would be holding the final payment (kind of like escrow) and, bada bing ~ we own Kalliope by the end of March!

“Tain’t necessarily so.” It was a good two weeks before we received any response whatsoever and then finally the response intimated that our final payment would somehow be for more than agreed to. When Rick made it very clear in a responding email that if there was any adjustment to the payment it would be downward, he received a phone call that led to Plan A: The deal would be done either February 27^th – March 4^th or March 19^th – March 23^rd at a meet-up at the attorney’s office on one of those days. That led to Plan B which set the date of March 19^th for sure.

But, wait. That led to Plan C when Rick received a call where it was proposed that we wire the money as usual on March 7^th and that the papers would be at the boat “without fail” on March 19^th. Ummmm… No.

What was to be a straight forward exchange of documents for money was getting much more complicated and worrisome.

So, back to Plan A/B. We would all meet at the attorney’s on the 19^th.

But, wait. On Thursday, February 26^th, we received a call that proposed Plan D: “why don’t we just close this out by March 4^th” at the boat.

It was a tense weekend, for sure, with lots of backs and forths, posturing, texts and BCC’s galore. At this point Rick was in full professional fighting mode, being as tough and stern as he is with recalcitrant subcontractors and owners, and came up with a “line in the sand” Plan E ~ a certified check would be at the attorney’s office, not to be handed over until all of the paperwork was in hand and approved by the attorney.

But, lo and behold, when it became very clear that we were not going to budge, all the papers were magically faxed to the attorney and the final wire went out just like that. Done deal. As of 1 pm, Tuesday, March 4, 2014, we owned our unique, wonderful, floating home outright!

It took the rest of the day and evening for the adrenalin to drain out and for us to truly believe it. But so it was and so it is. Rick went into high gear on Wednesday morning, hanging pictures, arranging fossils and artwork ~ dozens of little touches that we were postponing until we really, truly owned the boat. We want the ship to always look tidy, warm and inviting because, well, because we like it that way and because each day brings more people who want a tour, including occasional well-known names.

Shortly after the dust had settled on Tuesday, paperwork and funds all in place, Rick received a text saying “You are very tough!” Signed “The Other Pirate.” High praise and Victory at Sea!

Afterword: Rick is a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, creator of Cthulhu, “A monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind.” Several years ago, our daughter, Allyson, presented Rick with a Cthulhu mask which we subsequently placed on a mannequin head and have now anointed honorary Co-Captain of the boat. So, I guess you might say that my long ago fantasy of being Captain (well at least Co-Captain, along with Rick and Cthulhu) of a tugboat has finally come to pass!